While I was unconscious.
Six weeks later, he sat across from me with divorce papers.
And said:
He couldn’t stay.
He couldn’t look at me.
That the girls were gone because of the complications I had caused.
And I believed him.
Because what other choice did I have?
For five years…
I dreamed of babies crying in the dark.
“Mom, will you take us home with you?”
The voice pulled me back.
The taller girl.
Looking up at me like I was the answer to a question she had been asking her whole life.
I knelt down slowly.
Took their hands.
“Sweetheart, I think you’re mistaken. I’m not your mother.”
Her face collapsed instantly.
“That’s not true. You are our mother. We know you are.”
The other girl clung tighter.
“You’re lying, Mommy. Why are you pretending you don’t know us?”
They didn’t let go.
Not physically.
Not emotionally.
Not even for a moment.
They stayed beside me all day.
Sat next to me.
